Winning His Heart
by Amoureux De Twilight
Summary: Of course she fell for him. How couldn't she? With is rugged good looks and startling hazel eyes. A/U
1. Chapter 1

**Winning His Heart**

**Chapter 1**

By: Amoureux De Twlight

I never really thought much about what other people say about me, or what they thought about me. I always did, wore, acted, lived the way I wanted to. I consider myself a rather intelligent girl and quite active. I'm a witch and I am exceptional at charms. I like quidditch, I am absolutely in love with sugar quills and I like books and learning. I never was one for boys or finding that perfect little black dress for that party that absolutely everyone is going to.

So for me to be in this position is incredibly senile.

I like a boy.

And of course it's not just any boy, how could it not be. It's the boy every girl wants. It's the boy with the charming smile that makes pathetic girls like me swoon and go weak at the knees.

I'm talking of James Potter.

Yes, James Potter. The boy with built muscles from playing quidditch, the quidditch that also makes him perfectly glisten with sweat. The boy with the mysterious hazel eyes that makes blood rush to my cheeks and make me feel faint.

James Potter, the boy with a girlfriend.

How could he not have a girlfriend? The girl of whom I speak goes by the name of Roslyn. Most people just call her Rose, or if you were really close to her, like her boyfriend, you called her Rosie.

Rose has this perfectly straight dirty blonde hair that goes all the way down her back. She has perfect ice blue eyes and according to a couple of Hufflepuff boys that sit behind me in History of Magic, when she is being, ahem, pleasured, you can almost see heaven.

So basically the story is, I am not the perfect girl everyone dreams of. I am the fiery redhead with a temper. I am the girl with the bright green eyes that reflect my mood, or so I've been told. I am Lily Evans, Head girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And I kick ass.

Okay so I don't exactly kick ass. But being head girl has its perks. I mean besides being able to take away points from anyone I want, I get to stay out side of dorms later and speaking of dorms… I get a completely plush dormitory that I get to share with the head boy. The head boy is the dreamy James Potter. I think this is the universe's way of paying back for the fact that I like him and he has a girlfriend.

So as I sit here and get ready for another prefect meeting, I just wonder where my life is going. Where I'm heading. And if there is even the slightest possibility that James and I could ever be a couple.

So far that looks very bleak.

Please Review. Advice would be sooooo helpful! Hope you liked it!


	2. Only a Half Moon

A/N: Thank you times a billion for the awesome reviews! Today is a good day.

**Disclaimer: **Whoops, my bad. I forgot to put up a disclaimer last time. Sorry! Nope I'm not J.K. Rowling. I know how disappointing.

**Winning His Heart**

**Chapter 2**

By: Amoureux De Twlight

The bit of parchment I have in front of me is beginning to disappear as my mindless doodles my mind begins to drift away from the normal swirls and stars and onto a certain boy. Namely, James Potter. I write his name in swirls as I think about all the naughty things he could do to me. I was interrupted from said fantasy when the opens to reveal prefects pouring in for the 8 O'clock prefect meeting for tonight.

I quickly crumple up the piece of paper that revealed my feelings for a certain head boy and shoved it in my bag as I regained my composure. I mutter hello to the scattered prefects as they begin to talk amongst themselves. I feel my breath catch on the back of my throat as I see him walk in the door.

James nods in my direction. "Evans." Did I fail to mention the fact that we are on a last name basis?

"Potter." I say as I just slightly move my head to acknowledge his presence while at the same time shielding my face as I feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

He sits next to me and props his feet up on the table nonchalantly.

I mentally count the students heads and see that almost everyone is here so I begin the meeting.

"Hello everybody, thank you for coming tonight. I know I schedule this meeting a little last minute, but I wanted to get a meeting in before everyone headed home for the holidays." Truth be told the break wasn't for about 2 more weeks but I wanted there to be another Hogsmede visit before Christmas. This way everyone would be able to get gifts for their family and friends.

The meeting goes on. There is nothing really too exciting to talk about. The girl's toilets near the Hufflepuff common room keep exploding. That's a problem. And the 6th floor has 2 doors that refuse to open to boys and if they do open for them they will just slam shut in their faces. There have been multiple bloody noses from said incident.

I also had to ask if anyone was staying here for the holidays and only a couple people were, the two Ravenclaw prefects, a Gryffindor and myself and James. I was giddy when I heard James going to be staying for the holidays. I wonder if all of the Marauder's are going to be staying. Sirius Black I heard practically lives at James' house so he will probably stay. And Remus Lupin is the Gryffindor prefect staying. I have no idea about Peter Pettigrew though. He usually does whatever the other Marauders do though. So he will probably stay.

Before I know it I am saying goodbye to the prefects and begin cleaning up my things. Before I was surprised by one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard.

"So Evans, why aren't you going home for Christmas?" I spin around to look at him in reply and was just able to blurt out my answer.

"My parents are going to take a vacation in Portugal. I really don't want to tag along." Good God his eyes were amazing. And Merlin, his hair! "What about you?" I thought up quickly. I need this conversation to last a while.

"Well my parents work for the ministry right? So they are practically never home. It's more fun here at Hogwarts anyway. Besides, Rosie is going to be staying here." Of course she is.

"So anyway Lily," O my God, he said my name. "Walk back to the head common room with me?" I'll do more than just that with you.

"Yeah sure. Let me just grab my bag." As I walk out of the room with James I can't keep my mind straight. First of all I have to walk and remember the way to the common room without looking like a complete idiot and get lost. I also have to make sure my smile doesn't get out of hand. Seriously how much of a mood kill would it be if you looked over and saw that your companion was smiling like a maniac?

"Have you finished that transfiguration essay yet?" James and I almost had all the same classes.

"No not yet… I'm about half way I think." It was the hardest half an essay I've ever had to write.

"Yeah me too. I don't think Professor McGonagall thinks we have lives outside of her class." He said as we rounded a corridor.

" Your right, it is like-" But I was not able to continue my comment.

"James!" A voice shrieked throughout the corridor. It was Roslyn.

"Hey Rosie," he said in that deep rough voice that I desperately wanted him to speak to me with.

She went up and kissed him and I looked away not only because I felt I was invading their privacy but also because I was beginning to blush and gag at the same time.

"I missed you Jamie." She said as she drew circles on his chest. This was repulsive. I readjusted the strap on my bag so it was more secure on my shoulder as I quickly walked off.

"Bye Potter." Was all I muttered switching back to surnames. Roslyn and I never really talked. I don't even think she knows my first name. I'm just known as Evans.

As I walked down the hallway all I could hear were faint giggles and Roslyn questioning James why he was walking with me. I didn't stick around to hear his reply. It was probably just that he was accompanying me to the head dormitory.

I found my way easily to the head common room and made it up to my own room and dropped my bag my the door, shutting it with my foot. I walked over and simply jumped face first onto my bed.

I haven't always liked James. In fact it was quite the opposite. I used to absolutely hate the boy. But that was before I found out how sweet, kind and loyal he really was.

I rolled on to my back and looked out the window. Last year I figured out something that I should not have.

Remus Lupin was my partner in Transfiguration for the year. I noticed how he took a leave of absence about every month or so. He also looked very ill before and after his truancy. I am an overly curious girl so I looked in to it. And I started noticed that every time he was gone there was a full moon.

Remus Lupin suffered from lycanthropy. To put it in layman's terms, he was a werewolf. After some extremely careful investigation which I broke 27 school rules (I checked). I was able to conclude that he was not alone and in fact was accompanied by his very best friends. The Marauders. James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew.

I was quite proud of myself when I found out about their excursions. I was ready and excited to tell Professor McGonagall that Hogwarts played host to three animagus. James was a stag, Prongs, Sirius was a black dog, Padfoot, and Peter was a rat, Wormtail. Remus was nicknamed Moony.

So I prepared to present my case but then was hit in the face with the fact that they weren't really meaning any harm, quite the opposite really. They risked their lives and did all of this and risked being expelled all because of their love for a friend. Needless to say I did not turn them in.

I didn't tell them I knew what they were doing either. I was too ashamed of myself for what I had almost done and I felt I owed it to them, to respect their privacy. Especially Remus' it must really be horrible to live like that.

The moon was only half full tonight. Every time it is full I feel incredibly guilty and just horrible.

I always steer clear of the Marauders when there is a full moon as well. I guess I feel they don't need anything else bothering them at the time.

It's incredible how much they have matured. They used to be really annoying. Well at least to me. But now James doesn't bother me and that bothers me more. I guess I just want to know why he stopped. I really do wish he still gave me that sort of attention the attention he now spends on Roslyn.

Just the thought of how he just took her in his arms and didn't let go really made me wish that he would do that to me. I say that too often but its true. I am sure that when she is in his arms she feels untouchable. I envied her. I hated how that when he did little things like saving her a seat at the great hall she didn't smile or thank him just sat down and began talking about what was going on in her life. I think what I hated most was that she acted didn't show that she liked him. Sure she would go up to him and hug him and say how she loved him but she never really looked in his eyes.

I think James deserves more than that. But who was I to say I was that more. It didn't matter I wasn't really doing anything about the present situation. No matter how much I wanted to.

I needed to sleep. I never sleep anymore. I think I am insomniac.

I headed to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face before changing and lying down in my bed. Thinking about the boy who always seems to be on my mind before I drifted off to sleep.

A/N So I made this chapter longer. I knew you guys wanted me to. I just needed to start out with a short little intro. So it would be incredibly awesome if you guys would review again and I have a couple of questions

Lily needs a friend so I am thinking Marlene McKinnon but I am not sure if it should be someone who was actually mentioned in the Harry Potter books or someone completely new. Any ideas?

I also need to decide if I should have it so James was chasing her in their previous years or not.

And this is completely off topic but does anyone read Twlight? Anyone else pissed off because of the Midnight sun fiasco?

But I should be updating hopefully about once a week. I have family visiting to its hard to get on the computer and just write.


	3. Crumbling a Piece of Paper

A/N: Okay so I am getting a lot of wonderful reviews! And I can't believe how many of you put me on your alerts of favorites! I'm even on a C2! So thanks a bunch you guys are awesome!

**Disclaimer: **I am in high school, a long way away from becoming a bestselling author. I don't own Harry Potter.

**Winning His Heart**

**Chapter 3**

By: Amoureux De Twlight

I woke up drenched in my own sweat and the sheets of my bed tangled among my legs. I fell out of my bed attempting to untangle them.

The first time I had on of these dreams I ignored it. I cast it off as a fluke. After all who doesn't have a disturbing dream from time to time.

After I began having them every night, I began to get a little worried.

I went into the bathroom and began to let the steaming water pour over my body. I love the feeling of burning water activating ever one of my nerves. It's stimulating.

I cut myself shaving my legs. I really should just use a charm instead of a razor but it's just a force of habit now.

I wrapped my towel around myself, dried myself off and walked over to the sink. There was condensation on the mirror so I wiped it off. I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and reached for a bad aid to put on my leg.

I brushed my teeth and then got dressed and charmed my hair dry. I'm wearing my absolute favorite jeans. They are too long for me so I trip a lot when I am wearing them but they are perfectly worn so they are incredibly comfortable.

I begin to suck on a sugar quill pack my bag and make my way to the great hall still attempting to collect my thoughts. It takes me about an hour to fully wake up in the morning.

"Lily!" My best friend Marlene McKinnon yells at me.

"Hello Marley," I said. Marlene McKinnon or as I call her, Marley is my best friend. She can be quite loud at times but I love her all the same.

"What's the occasion?" She asked me with a raised eyebrow.

"Er… What?" I asked her. With Marley I never know what she could be talking about.

"Lily don't be stupid you are wearing one of your pretty lacy bras. The black one to be exact and you only wear that one when you want to be particularly sexy for the day. In fact you have been wearing all your lacy bras recently. What are you up too and why am I not helping?" She asked me with big eyes. She always gets over excited when I do something sneaky.

"Hey I think I deserve to have a confidence boost!" I haven't exactly told Marley that I am totally in love with our dear head boy. In fact when she asks about James I almost completely ignore her.

"Lily I'm not an idiot I know you are up to _something._" Just then a chorus of laughter a couple of seats away interrupted our conversation. It's James and the Marauders. Seeing his grin and sparkling eyes made my heart beat faster and the blood rushed to my cheeks. I quickly looked down.

"Oh, I see. Lily you finally have come around and realize that you are destined to be with James. It's a shame you didn't figure that out earlier it would save me a lot of trouble." Marlene was abnormally amazing at reading people. With one look she can tells a persons intentions, views, feelings and weather or not they are lying. I am lucky she hasn't noticed before. She is far to observing, note how she noticed what bra I was wearing.

"Marlene I have no idea what on Earth you are talking about." I attempted to look her straight in the eye and sound as defiant as possible in my tone of voice.

"O please Lily, don't lie. It's not becoming. I am sure James would agree with me on this," she teased. I blushed again.

"I don't like Potter!" I tried to reason with her but knowing Marley she already knows what my wedding dress will look like and what color we will paint my first child's room.

"Whatever you say Lily. But good job on wearing your black bra. If _that_ doesn't cat his attention I don't know what will."

"Marlene, he has a girlfriend."

"Yeah but he loves you." If I was blushing before now I am just turning into a tomato.

"No he doesn't, not anymore at least." My voice is barely a whisper and I feel like I am about to throw up.

"So you admit you fancy him then, right?" Shit.

"No, I never said that!" But I knew it was too late.

"Oh Merlin I have got to tell Ava!" Ava was our Ravenclaw buddy who is my other best friend. Unfortunately we don't get to see that much because she is in a different house. Marley and I curse her for being so smart and focused on her studies.

"No! Marley don't!" I shouted but it was too late. She was gone and I was screwed. So I ate a muffin and grabbed one for later and made my way to History of Magic.

Who ever decided to put History Magic at the beginning of they day is seriously ill. Half of us fall asleep in the class the other half of us eats breakfast. I used to take notes but then I realized that I could just read a History of Magic book in the library and get about the same education.

About halfway thought the class after I was done eating my muffin and began to doodle on piece of parchment a note fluttered its way over to my desk.

_**You know wearing that black bra is hardly fair.**_

I looked over to Marley and she was asleep and Ava was not in this class. I dared myself to glance at James and he was leaning back in his chair playing with a quill. It was quite possible that he could be sending these notes. Not that I was getting my hopes up or anything.

_And why is that? _I scribbled back. Word began to form on the piece of paper a charm that many of us used in class to avoid being caught passing notes.

_**Because some of us are unable to control ourselves. **_I looked back at James as he was writing. But I still didn't know if it was him.

_Are you one of them? _I asked.

_**Maybe. **_The mysterious person wrote back.

_And who is this? _I was pretty curious and I secretly hoped it was James but if I found out it wasn't and I asked about it I would be embarrassed.

_**Oh I'm a friend. **_I had many friends in this class so that didn't really narrow it down.

_Could you possibly be more specific? _My handwriting was very messy do to my hands shaking from being so nervous.

_**No, not really. **_Well he was certainly a smart ass like James was.

_Okay then…can you tell me why you were looking at my bra? _ After all I have a right to know who is checking to see if I am wearing one of my sexy bras. And if this stranger were someone I didn't like, well I would find some guy I trusted to beat him up. And if it was someone I did like well they could just keep on looking.

_**Because I can't seem to take my eyes off of you. **_This made me breathless. I looked around for wandering eyes but I could see no one looking at me. Again most people were sleeping or whispering with their friends.

_Are you looking at me right now?_

_**No, that would be too blatantly obvious.**_

_Well at least you got your eyes off of me. _I couldn't help but be a little witty. After all this person was staring at my breasts I could afford to be flirty.

_**Yes but my eyes long to look at your face again.**_This boy was just a little bit cheesy I couldn't help but giggle a little.

_I would very much like to know who you are._

_**Would you meet me after class? Say just outside the door?**_

If I was nervous before now I am anxious. I breathed in threw my nose and out threw my mouth trying to stay conscious.

_I'd be delighted._

_**Until then.**_

I counted down the minutes until class ended, anxiously strumming my finger and sucking on the end of my sugar quill.

At last we were dismissed and I shoved my things into my bag and quickly let down my hair letting my red tresses fall down around my shoulders. I swiftly made my way to the door and awaited my secret note passer. I could call him an admirer just yet.

My breath caught in my thought as James paused by the door. He sighed and then continues to walk down the hall crumbling a piece of paper in his had as he left.

It wasn't James.

I searched in my mind for other boys in my class wondering who on Earth it could be when my frantic search ended and the last boy in my history of magic class walked out of the threshold.

* * *

**A/N:** O my goodness I love this chapter and I am going to love the next chapter too and so are you! I am serious you are going to die when you read the next chapter I have it built out in my mind exactly what is going to happen. I almost considered writing it now but I think I will update on Friday.

Okay so question time.

I am thinking about pulling a Stephanie Meyer and writing a story to fall in line with this one from James's perspective. Its just because when I am writing I think of what James is doing and what he is thinking of what's going on. So give me your opinion.

I also need a character name, a boy's name. You are not going to like this character, so don't name it someone you like.

Hope you guys had a nice weekend and good luck to those of you going back to school. I am too I already have fallen down the stairs 3 times and hit a door knob.

Thanks again for all of the awesome reviews. And for all of the alerts and favorites I got and I hope you all keep it up!


	4. Fine

A/N: He He… Did I say Friday? SURPRISE! You get the new chapter on Thursday instead. I am busy on Friday. Oh and thanks a whole bunch to everyone who reviewed especially **jacks-peapod** and **e.jameson** for recommending names for the new character. I'm a sucker for alliterations and the names you gave just went perfectly together. But **jacks-peapod** and **e.jameson** this chapter is dedicated to you. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I may feel like I am an awesome writer because of the AMAZING reviews I am getting but I am not bestseller. I don't own Harry Potter.

**Winning His Heart**

**Chapter 4**

By: Amoureux De Twlight

Previously…

It wasn't James.

I searched in my mind for other boys in my class wondering who on Earth it could be when my frantic search ended and the last boy in my history of magic class walked out of the threshold.

"Hello Lily." A deep voice said to me as I stared into the eyes of my note-passing friend. It was Jeremy Jacoby.

Yes Jeremy Jacoby was his name and playing girls was his game. It was not hard to see why. Jeremy had that light brown hard that practically beg for fingers to run through it and those vibrant blue eyes that knocked girls off their feet just from looking in them too long.

My voice was barely audible as I spoke, "Hey Jeremy." As I regained my composure I was quickly reminded of James and how I had lost my chance with him. "So… You couldn't take your eyes off of me?" I didn't know was else to say. I personally don't know what I expected to come from this.

He simply nodded in response with a smile not saying a word as he started to walk towards me. He put hit hands on either side of my face and kissed me and started to press me up against the wall.

I knew that I was defenseless against this. It had been forever since I had been kissed like this and I felt like I almost needed this. James had distracted my mind for too long I couldn't focus on anything else for the longest time. I haven't felt good in an eternity.

I could feel the cold stone of the wall pressing against my back, as the kiss got more passionate. But I was suddenly put on edge when I felt his had on my waist moving up.

"Jeremy," I said breaking away from the kiss.

"Lily," he replied back kissing me again.

I pulled away again attempting to get out of his grip grabbing his hand and jerking it off of my waist.

"Jeremy, I am not really comfortable going that far with you," I said quietly. "I mean we really haven't ever talked to each other much." With each word I wanted more and more to escape the current situation, the moment getting more and more awkward by the moment.

"Lily," He said name again with his husky voice. His breathe tickling my face. "Come on," he begged.

"I don't know…" I told him timidly.

This seemed to be good enough for him for he grabbed my face again and proceeded to kiss me.

"No." I pushed him off telling him my refusal with force.

"Come on Lily!" He told once again.

"Oi! Jacoby, she said no." Jeremy didn't say this, and neither did I. It was James. And this was just _brilliant. _Just bloody _brilliant._

"What's it to you Potter?" Jeremy spat.

"Well Lily is head girl and I am head boy meaning that occasionally we have to get together and fix what is wrong with the school." James retorted. Of course it was head business. He couldn't be looking for me just to talk.

"Whatever," Jeremy told him. "See you later Lily" He looked deep within my eyes as if he could read my mind.

Jeremy turned around and left and I was now alone with James.

"Are you okay?" James turned to me His face inches from mine.

"I'm fine." I said breathlessly.

He lifted his hand to my forehead and trailed it down to my jaw continuing down my neck until he reached my collarbone as I stayed perfectly still. His hand rested for a moment on my collarbone as my body and my mind were wishing he would go just a little farther down to my chest. I longed for him to take me into his arms right there just as Jeremy had done moments before. I wanted him to press me into that cold stone and feel his hand roam my body.

Then he lifted his hand off and I took in a deep breath breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth

"Damnit Lily." He muttered.

"What?" I asked him confusedly.

"Lily why do you do this to me?" He demanded.

"Do what?" I asked befuddled by his very words.

"Lily you stand there not know how appealing you really are and you hang out with Jeremy Jacoby? Seriously Lily Jacoby? The guy is a jerk and a huge player! And you know it too." James lectured me. This annoyed the living hell out of me. He had no idea what was going on and now he is lecturing me?

"Oh like you are so better yourself. You have no right to talk to me like that. Do you remember a few years ago where you were considered a huge player and a jerk?" I turned red in the face as my voice rose. "And you date Roslyn? Come on James you and I both know that she is a slut!"

"Don't talk about her like that! You don't know her!" He yelled at me. "She may be a little less prudent than you but at least she is not Jacoby!"

"James do you know what makes me absolutely furious? It is how you can defend someone saying that I don't really know her but do you really know Jeremy?" This could go on for hours. James and I were both incredibly stubborn.

"That's different."

"Oh please it is exactly the same."

"Okay Lily, your right. Is that what you want to hear? That your right?" He told me sternly. _No, I want you to tell me that you love me and that Roslyn is just a toy to keep your mind off of me._

"No…" I said meekly.

"Well it certainly comes off that way. So fine, I am done trying to protect you I am done trying to show you that I am not that bad of a guy and that I actually care about you. So go off and find Jacoby. No one cares."

_Ouch. That hurt._ I was practically choking my tears back as I said, "Okay, fine I will go find Jeremy if you seriously feel like that James."

"Fine." He said curtly.

"Fine." I told him back and I turned around and marched off the way Jeremy left.

I didn't get very far. I turned a corner out of James's sight and started running trying to open doors until I got to the first empty one and let the tears on my face begin to fall.

A/N: Did you like it? Huh huh did you like it? I liked it. I hope it was up to everyone's standards. The actual story part of this chapter is about 1000 words and I really hope its enough.

Oh and sorry this is a day early! I got excited and I really wanted to say something about today.

Today is September 11th and I think you all remember several years ago the word trade center was hit today killing hundreds. I was recently at an Italian restaurant and I looked at a wall and there was a letter. It was dated September 11, 2001. The people who owned the restaurant were staying in Rome and they got a letter from the manager of the hotel that they were staying in telling them that if there was anything they needed or required to use to phone to ask. I am aware that about half of you aren't from the United States and I just wanted to thank you all of your kindness. I wasn't that old when it happened but it is still fairly vivid in my mind. I am glad that we all can get together and share something as simple as a book and get along.

Thank you for reading, thank you for your kindness, and thank you for reviewing. Hehe.


	5. Jealous

A/N: I know I know! I am absolutely dreadful for not updating sooner, but time is flying by me.

Disclaimer: My friends are paying for me to go to homecoming, if I wrote Harry Potter I would be able to pay for myself.

**Winning His Heart**

**Chapter 5**

By: Amoureux De Twlight

I am a complete and utter moron for getting myself in these situations. I can see James right now and he is laughing away with his friends at the Gryffindor table while I myself am sitting next to Jeremy Jacoby at the Ravenclaw table with his friends as they eat with their civilized witty humor.

I am dreadfully bored. And jealous. Which is a fairly bad combination when you think about it. When you are bored you are able to let your mind wander and when you are jealous you come up with awful schemes that will get you into more trouble than you already are.

I'm jealous of the fact that James is able to sit at the Gryffindor table with his friends and his girlfriend and I sit here with a boy whose hands wander too much. I'm jealous because I am sitting here, jealous, and James doesn't even seem to care at all that Jeremy's hand is much to close to my breast.

That sounds silly. I am jealous of someone for not being jealous of.

I push my food on my plate around with my fork with my head in my hand. I wonder how he new that I stayed behind with Jeremy. I wonder how he feels about me because it seems to me that as he was talking about how "appealing I was" (which still makes me smirk and blush) he couldn't take his hands or eyes off of me. Which is usually what someone does when they like you.

The hand below my breast squeezes me.

"Hey Lily, the guys and I are going to go to the common room, I'll see you later okay?" I nod and he starts to kiss me. His kisses are always forceful. I bet it is fairly disgusting to watch. I mean a slight kiss in public is no big deal but when there is definite tongue that 's when it gets gross.

He walks away and I sigh and walk over to where Ava was sitting.

"Hey Ava," I say.

"Hello Lily," she offers her smile and scoots over to give me room to sit down. "So you and Jacoby huh? That's odd I could have sworn a little bird told me that you fancied James."

"Did this bird happen to be called a Marley?" I ask bitterly.

"Why yes, I believe it was of the Marlene variety." She giggles. "Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear." Marlene sits across from us her eyes staring intensely at me.

"What on Earth is going on?" She questions astronomically appalled. "I thought you liked James! This cannot be happening Lily, I had plans you know. I knew where you two were going to get married and where you would live and all the middle names of your children!"

"All the middle names of my children? How many children are you planning for me to have?"

"Five." She answers back.

"Five? Why five?"

"Well, there needs to be 2 girls for me and Ava to be named after and then two boys for Remus and Sirius to be named after."

"What of the 5th one?" Ava asks.

"Oh that one is for them, they can name it whatever they want." She explained to us as if it was obvious.

"How nice of you, giving me one child to name whatever I desire." I added sarcastically.

She smiles at me "I know, I am just simply a saint, am I not? Anyways," She says shaking her head, "We are getting off topic. What happened?"

I just looked at her and shrugged my shoulders not having an answer to her question.

"Do you not like James anymore?"

I just murmured incoherently.

"Lily." Marley said sternly. Out of Ava and Marley, Marley was always the one to get secrets out of you, as Ava was the one to listen and give advice.

"I don't know. I sure I have feelings for him, it is just… we talked yesterday…" I looked down at my palms twisting and turning the napkin in my hands.

"You talked? What about what happened?"

"Well, you see, I had gotten this not during The History of Magic and I didn't know who it was from. They told me they couldn't take their eyes off of me and we decided to meet after class." I could feel my throat closing as I spoke. "So we did and it was Jeremy and he started to kiss me but he went too far for my liking and he wouldn't stop even as I asked." I swallowed, "So James shows up and tells him to go away and then… Well I don't know we talked and he touched me and then we fought and I left."

"…He touched you?" Marley said with a smile.

"Oh shut up Marley not like that!" But I couldn't help but blush.

"Well apparently whatever touching he did was sure to leave a lasting memory judging on the amount of blush on your cheeks." Ava pointed out to me.

"Ava! Don't you get sucked into this too! You are better than her!"

"No she's not." Marley says as she looks over my shoulder. "Well hun if it makes you feel better it looks like James is taking it fairly hard as well."

"Nonsense, I looked over at him not 5 minutes ago and he was laughing and having a good time with the Marauders."

"Well look again because he looks positively glum." Marley says.

James did look quite distraught. The laughter that once graced the table was silent. Sirius and Remus were casually speaking as Peter was stuffing his face. But James was very silent looking down on his plate. Pushing his food around like I had just done. His girlfriend Roslyn had herself slung over him laughing with her friend not even noticing how upset he looked.

"What exactly happened in that fight of yours Lily?" Ava asked me her eyes full of sympathy.

This made me sick to my stomach. "He started to lecture me on how Jeremy was a jerk and a player,"

"Which he is," Marley said.

"Yeah well, um, then I told him he was not that different and then I called Roslyn a slut. James defended Roslyn and I defended Jeremy and then he told me he was done."

"Done what?" Ava asked me.

"Done protecting me and showing that he wasn't that mad and actually cares about me. He told me that no one cares and I said fine and left."

"Oh." That was all Ava said as she wrapped her arms around me.

"The thing is I know he is actually caring and sweet. I am just too stupid to say anything." I said near crying.

"Come on," Marley said as she ducked under the table and out the other end taking my hand and leading Ava and I to the doors of the Great Hall. "Lets go for a walk and relax. Have a girls night." Marley smiled at me. "I want to hear more about James touching you." Marley said mischievously. I giggled and felt blood rush to my face once more as we ran out the doors into the night.

The thing about friends is even when you don't want to, they can make you laugh.

A/N: Yeah I am not sure how I feel about this chapter. The next one will probably be better…Maybe more touching. Hehe.

Please review if you have any questions, comments or ideas for me. Or if you just feeling like chatting, saying hi or talking about how much you want James to touch Lily… Haha sorry, weird mood.

REVIEW!


	6. Touching, Almost Kissing, Kissing

A/N: DON'T SHOOT! I'm sorry things have been crazy lately. Last weekend was homecoming and yeah… okay my excuses are pathetic.

Disclaimer: I wrote this while in English class, if I owned Harry Potter, I would be writing this while drinking chai tea sitting in a really comfy chair with a roaring fireplace and petting a cat.

**Winning His Heart**

**Chapter 6**

By: Amoureux De Twlight

The girl's night was quite eventful it we talked mostly about touching and how we hope there is more touching in the future. We can be quite immature when we are able to just relax. But now it is Monday and I hate Mondays.

After removing Jeremy's lips from mine, a very difficult feat to tell the truth, I made my way to transfiguration and sat next to Ava and Marley. An overall boring lesson talking about transfiguration in theory, which means note taking and no activity. So I proceed to play eye Catch.

Eye Catch is an art form it seems. You find a person, usually of the opposite sex, stare at them until they turn and look back at you, "Catch" their eyes for just a moment and turn away. Eye catch is played in boring classrooms everywhere. The reasons for playing are 1. You are bored and just wish to chat with the person in question 2. You and your opponent are caught in same form of love triangle, or one likes the other, or 3. You got in a stupid fight the other day and neither of you have enough courage to be the one to sacrifice your pride and talk.

I'm playing eye catch with James.

The thing with eye catch is that every time your eyes meet your heart, beats faster and you flush. It's quite hard to be inconspicuous with your worried friends hanging around. I can tell you that they know something is up looking at me when they think I am not paying attention. I don't blame them at all I mean, I would do the same thing for them. In fact in the past I have.

But their suspicion grows in me as a note flutters across the room and ion to my desk.

"Benn getting a lot of notes lately, aren't we Lily?" Ava asks as Marlene just looks from me to the note.

I slide the note under my desk and open it on my lap, shielding it from wandering eyes.

It read.

_We need to meet and talk._

_-JP-_

My eyes read over the letters once more before looking up to my eye catch competitor.

He is now staring at me with meaning. It is clear that our little game is over and it is time to be serious.

I move the note from my lap to my desk cover it with my hand and lean over it concealing it with my long locks of hair and write my reply.

_**Okay, after class then? The head dormitory?**_

_**-LE-**_

I fold the paper in the creases James had already made and fly it back across the room, fluttering to him. He opens it, looks up at me and then nods back.

With not even eye catch to ease me of anxiety, I start to fidget in my seat, drumming my fingers on my legs and twisting my quill around. I see James smirk at my inability to keep still and try to become a statue and this only results in a huge spasm of all my muscles causing me to almost fall out of my chair. I grip the table for support.

Ava and Marlene are also impatient and are frantically looking to one another with looks of confusion and frustration.

They hate it when I keep them out of the loop like this.

Finally we are dismissed from class and I fly out of there just in time to hear the roar of protest coming my way from Ava and Marlene.

My feet fly up the staircases and turn around the corners and reach the portrait hole. I mutter our password fleur de lis and enter a complete mess in hopes to compose myself before James enters.

But my hopes diminished when I saw the raven-haired boy standing in front of the couch.

I stumbled in and quickly caught myself staring in awe and I ran my fingers through my hair in hopes of taming the wild beast.

"Lovely entrance Lily."

"What the hell? How did you get here before me? I left class before you!"

"Well apparently I just know the school better than you do." He said with a smug smile that makes me want to punch him in the face.

"But I didn't see you pass me, the only other way to the common room is to take a detour around the school and up those stairs that take forever to be in the correct place." I said in an as a matter of fact tone.

"Again, apparently I just know the castle better than you. Okay so now that, _that _is out of the way, I really did want to talk to you."

"We _are_ talking." I put on a smart-ass smile and laughed to myself.

"Yes but I wanted to talk to you about something specific." He said sitting down, not breaking eye contact with me. I fluttered over to the couch and sat down folding my legs under me, staring at him across from me.

"The specifics being?" I proctored.

"I'm sorry I was an ass the other day. It's not my business if you like that Jeremy kid." I watched his eye twitch at the name.

"Apology accepted," I said. Oh and also if you want it to be your business go ahead and do it. You can push me up against the wall over there and we can proceed to make hot sex that is so passionate the portraits on the wall fall off.

Of course I only thought this in my mind and my cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Brilliant, that was easier than I thought it would be. Now, on to more crucial matters," He smiled at me "I am quite hungry." His stomach growled as if proving his point. "Would thou dearest Lily please grace me with her presence and accompany me to the kitchen?" He asked holding out his hand for me.

"Why of course kind sir." I replied playing along with the game and took his hand.

More touching.

Although this was a different kind of touching, I thought as we flew down corridors and stairs to reach the kitchens. This was a platonic sort of touching the way a friend would touch a friend. I won't say that I like it more or less than the touching he did the other day but it would be nice to have them both, friend touching and more than friend touching. All I ever get from Jeremy is more than friend touching. I shutter.

James tickled the pear and the portrait swung pen allowing us to step through and be greeted by the house elves that never seem to stop.

"I wonder if house elves need to sleep." James thought out loud as we walked over to a small table.

"I'm not sure. I'm sure not many people have witnessed it if they do." I answered.

"Hello there, what can I get you?" A little house elf asked us.

"Pudding."

"Pudding James?"

"Of course. What's wrong with pudding?"

Nothing. Okay then," I said to the house elf. "Bring him pudding." As I watched the house elf scurry off to bring us James' ever so desired pudding, I felt James' gaze on me. I slowly turned my head towards him in a desperate attempt to look sexy.

"What are you looking at?" I asked him, almost self-consciously. His eyes were narrowed as if he was trying to figure something out.

"What do you mean by "Nothing," What's wrong with pudding?" He questioned again.

" I don't know I guess when I think of pudding I think little five-year-old jumping up and down because they get dessert, which happens to be pudding." I explained to him.

"Lily are you comparing me to a five-year-old?"

"Only your desire of pudding. But you have to admit, you are kind of a brat sometimes." I told him because he was. A cute brat, but a brat nonetheless.

"Just for that comment, you don't get any pudding."

He took the pudding from the house elf and proceeded to eat it, keeping it out of my reach.

"Hey! That's no fair!" I exclaimed.

"Oh look it here, I Thought pudding was for five-year-olds? And now you want some? Lily you are an adult, Adults don't get dessert. Maybe you should have some broccoli." He suggested.

"Yuck. I hate broccoli." I said sticking out my tongue. Broccoli is repulsive. "I know."

"Can I please have some pudding?" I begged pouting my lip.

"There are two conditions," He said as he licked the spoon taunting me. "One, you have to admit that pudding is not only for five-year-olds, but also for adults such as myself."

I snorted at the thought of James' being an adult but nodded my head yes anyways. "Fine. Pudding isn't only for five-year-olds. It is also for adults like you." I said pouting. "I can't believe I just called you an adult.

"I am very mature." He said this with a straight face, which is probably what caused me to laugh hysterically.

"Ha ha, okay then." I said sarcastically. "So what is the other condition?" I asked him,

"Okay, conditions number two." He shoveled another spoonful of pudding into his mouth. "You have to kiss me."

Just kiss you? I think in my head. Are you sure you don't want to show these house elves a thing or two about anatomy? Just knock the pudding of the table, sweep me off my feet and you can have me right here.

"Where?" I asked instead.

"My, my Lily and here I thought you were so innocent," if he only knew. "Now get your head out of the gutter, just one kiss, on my lips." He pointed to his mouth. "Here I will even put some pudding on them so I taste good." Oh believe me James; I am sure you taste fine without the pudding. He put a finger in the pudding and then lifted it up to his lips so there was just a dollop of pudding there.

"Okay, I said and watched his eyes perk-up. I was leaning into him just about to reach his lips when the door burst open and interrupted us. Typical.

"-And so I told him there was no way a goblin and a house elf would ever reproduce. Goblins are too unattractive." The first voice said.

" You will never cease to amaze me." The second voice replied.

Sirius and Remus. They are the cheese to James' macaroni… well… sort of.

" I got to go." I said picking up my things and swiftly leaving the room. "See you James, hello Black, Remus."

On my way out I could lightly hear, "Why am I Black and you two get your first names?" and an "I hate you guys."

I almost kissed James. Holy shit! I almost kissed James. Do you realize what this means… besides the fact that I am going insane by talking to myself… This means that he wanted to kiss me! I am SO happy! And I didn't even kiss him! Can you imagine if I actually had kissed him, I almost kissed James, damn his friends!

I almost kissed James.

"Lily?" Shit Jeremy. I forgot about him.

"Jeremy."

"Lily," he said as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pushed me up against the wall, pressing his lips to mine. It was just like the first time he kissed me, his mouth moving with hunger and his hands toying with my shirt. His rough fingers moved up my back until I felt them beneath my breast.

"Jeremy. I said ripping his mouth off of mine.

"Lily." He said huskily in my, ear lightly biting it and his sour breath poisoning the air. I gave him a little push off of me. "You are mine Lily." He said.

"Jeremy." I began again this time with a little more aggression to my voice.

"Lily," he replied again. This time pressing me up against the cold stonewall.

"Lily?" This time it wasn't Jeremy.

"James?" I asked. Jeremy let me go and I stumbled on to the floor.

"What do you want Potter?" Jeremy asked.

"Nothing." James said, his eyes incredibly cold, freezing my soul,

"Lily and I just need to go over some head business." He didn't even glance my way before turning around and heading odd to what I assume was the head dorm.

" I better go." I said picking my self up from the floor.

"Wait a second Lily." Jeremy said grabbing my arm and turning me around to face him. " I don't like the way Potter has been looking at you. You should stay away from him as much as you can. He is a pig." His grip on my arm was getting tighter.

"Ouch! Jeremy you are hurting me!" " I could feel a bruise starting to develop under his fingers.

" Do you understand?" His eyes were dark. "Besides Head business I don't want to see you with him."

"James is a friend of mine and a friend of my other friends. I can't just avoid him." I tried to find my way out of it. "I like him, he is a good person."

I saw Jeremy's fist fly up but I didn't really register what had happened until I was on the floor. My cheek ached like nothing I had ever felt before.

"Fuck." I said as a wiped the blood off of my lip.

"What have you been doing with Potter?" He demanded.

"Nothing." I choked out. Even though this was a lie. I had almost kissed James while dating another boy. I was a horrible person.

"It had better be nothing. I'll see you at dinner." He said and then turned the corner s I picked up my things once more and made my way to the head common room.

A/N: I know I know I am a horrible person! But I have been busy. Well not really but I'm sorry! Every week I am like o I have to update my story I have to update my story and I just keep forgetting to! But I really have started to really hook on to the plot of the story so hopefully updates will be more sequential.

So yeah I wrote this chapter mostly while in math… some of it was really awkward and yeah I am sure I was blushing the whole time while smiling like a maniac of course because the story is getting so good.

I think I am going to change the story from romance and humor to romance and drama because this story is really turning out to be more dramatic than humorous would you agree?

Please review! Happy Halloween if you celebrate it! (I'm going to be a fairy and I get extra credit for my science class if I dress up!


	7. Gold Stars

06:33

A/N: Wasn't the last chapter awesome? It sucks because of course the night I update there is schedule like maintenance or whatever. Just my luck.

Disclaimer: I am a high school girl who is giddy because a boy kissed her on the head the other day. I am far from J.K. Rowling.

**Winning His Heart**

Chapter 7: Gold Stars

By: Amoureux De Twlight

As tears rand down my face, much to my discontent, I walked, with my head down, up to the head common room. I really didn't want to face James right now. I had almost kissed him and then not five minutes later I am in a full on snogging session with another boy. My face was swelling and it hurt so much. I reached the common room and found it, much to my surprise empty, but I was grateful for this. I dropped my bag by the couch and quickly ran up to the bathroom. My make-up was horrible from my crying and the forceful snog. My hair was in disarray flying everywhere. But as I looked at my reflection the only think I could focus on was the swollen blotch on my cheek. It spanned from under my right eye to my lip. My cheek was twice the size it should have been. I tied back my hair and washed my face as I attempted to calm my raging breath. I could easily hyperventilate if I was careful.

I looked at my arm and saw more red puffy skin where he had gripped me. My back was sore from the stone I was pushed into. I went over to my room and opened a charms book and found a spell to ease the pain and hide the swollen cheek. I went back down into the common room and rushed by to grab my bag before returning to my room. I dropped my bag once more and just ran to my bed. Everything was just too much, too much kissing, too much pain, too much touching, too much almost kissing, to much yelling. As tears ran off my cheeks I curled up on to my side looking out my window and cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up a few hours later I saw though the window that the sun was setting and the sky was growing darker. I heard my stomach growl, and as much as I didn't want to, I figured I should go eat.

I rolled off of my bed and on to my feet and tried to make myself look presentable again. My cheek and arm started to throb again as my spells are not nearly as good as Madame Pomfrey's. I made sure the bruises were still concealed before slipping out of the dorm and making my way towards the great hall.

When I entered I saw Marley sitting with the marauders, James included. She waved to me and I gave a weak smile and wave back. I figured I would just sit with Ava instead.

"Hey Lily." She said as I sat down. Her homework was spread out around herself and she was working on multiple things at a time. Even though Ava was in Ravenclaw and amazingly fast witted, she had a scattered brain. She would work on History of Magic for 10 minutes and then jump to Transfiguration for a while before switching again. She was also always multitasking. I think this is because she gets bored just doing one thing. She likes moving fast with everything. It's pretty entertaining actually, especially when you are having a casual conversation with her.

I quietly sat down next to her and watched her work as I ate an apple.

"Hey Lily, how's my favorite girl doing?" He asked me. If I am your favorite what do you do to those you hate? It was like earlier today he hadn't hit me. I didn't want to respond to him so I just shrugged my shoulders. He grabbed my hand and just held it. This is so incredibly wrong. One of us should be yelling. One of us should be pissed. No, I should be pissed. I should be incredibly angry and yelling at the top of my lungs.

"Take a walk with me." He demanded, yet he managed covered up his strict do as I say tone with a sweet voice.

"Yeah we should talk," I said lifting myself from the table. Talk; yell as I am dumping you, they are really the same thing. "I will see you later Ava."

Ava just waved and muttered something incoherently and continued working.

Jeremy and I walked out of the great hall and just roamed the halls.

"We need to talk." I blurted out.

"About what?" As if you don't know you son of a bitch.

"Us, we should break-up." The way I said it was so casual, so blunt, so nonchalant like I did this thin everyday was empowering. It made me feel so much more important then him. He didn't deserve pity.

"Is this about what happened earlier today? Because I'm sorry, I let my temper get the better of me and just went out of control." HA! I am the queen of letting my temper get the better of me! Don't feed me that shit! I'm a red head! Losing my temper is what I do. "I'm just so sorry." He finished his pathetic apology.

"Yeah, well, there's that, and well, you seem to be moving at a faster pace than me. I really think you like me more than I like you, which isn't fair to you." Yeah you are like sick and twisted and like me and I just hate you. "I kind of sort of have feelings for someone else as well." This needed to end.

"Is it Potter?" His voice got louder.

"It doesn't matter who it is."

"Is it?" He grabbed my arm pressing down on my bruises and creating new ones.

"Jeremy, get your fucking hand off of my arm." This was not going to happen again.

"Potter? Him, I hate him!" He continued gripping my arm as I struggled fuming.

"Well it's no longer your problem." I said spitefully ripping my hand from his grip and tried to get away.

"Lily you are mine." Jacoby said to me. He pushed me to the ground and kicked my leg. My hands flew to the back of my head to protect it from any blows and I curled up into the fetal position.

"STOP IT!" I screamed yet I knew it was worthless as his foot collided with my hip. Tears began running down my face.

"You aren't doing this to me!" He shouted.

"STOP!" I shrieked again.

"HEY! What the hell are you doing to her?" A voice yelled. "Get the fuck off of her!" The voice came closer and then I herd footsteps, a grunt and a punch. Jacob was on the floor.

"Oh Merlin! Lily, are you alright?" the now worried voice asked. I opened my eyes and saw a hand reaching out to help me up. I gripped it and then was greeted by a face I did not expect.

"Remus?" My hoarse voice asked as I wiped my eyes.

"Lily, are you okay?" His brow furled up in distress as he asked again.

"Yeah," I covered my mouth and coughed trying to regain my voice. "But, just don't tell anyone alright?" I pleaded.

"Lily, someone has to know. You need to get some help, you probably have a broken rib or something." I shook my head no.

"No, I don't want anyone to know. I am fine anyways," I lied. "You can't tell anyone and I mean everyone. That means no marauders," and defiantly no James. I began to walk myself to the head common room and Remus trailed after me.

"Lily you we me for saving you. You can pay me back by letting me tell someone." He argued back thinking he was oh so incredibly for coming up with such a wonderful idea.

"I kept you secret." His face flickered for a second.

"What secret?" He asked playing dumb.

"I figured it out, you obviously don't like full moons, but I swear I haven't told a soul." I am an awful person for using this against and blackmailing him into this but I couldn't help it. I didn't want anyone to know. Remus wouldn't make eye contact with me. "It's okay you know. I know it's not your fault." He smiled at me. " I keep your secret, you keep mine, deal?" I asked giving my hand for him to shake.

"Fine." He said taking my hand. "But I am not happy about it."

"Thanks." I said Really Remus. For everything."

"No problem." He smiled. "Thank you as well, for not telling anyone."

"My pleasure." I smiled back.

"I'm walking you to your room though. I'm going to be keeping my eye on you too." I should have expected this.

"Remus you really need not to." I protested.

"Hey, not way." I wasn't getting out of this.

We walked in a comfortable silence back to the head common room.

"Bye Remus."

"See you Lily."

I walked into the common room and saw James and Rosalie going at it like rabbits. This was the cherry on top for my night.

I quickly and quietly made my way upstairs seemingly unnoticed.

I closed my door and sank down to the floor exploding into to violent sobs. It seems everything is out of my control.

Thank goodness Remus was there. Or else there is no telling what could have happened. I am going to have to be extremely careful. And use the buddy system. It thought and laughed at myself through my tears.

I walked into my bathroom removed my clothes and started a shower. The scolding hot water turned my skin pink except in the places with bruises, which were now covering a third of my body.

My legs, once paled and freckled, were now sickly looking with blue spots up and down them. My hips were discolored and sore. But what hurt the most was my chest. When he pushed me I fell almost directly forward. My waist, ribs and breast got the worst impact.

I washed myself and then crawled out of the shower wrapping myself in a towel. I walked back into my room and used the same spells as before to heal my wounds. I pit on a pair of baggy sweatpants over my underwear and the most comfortable bra I could fine, I was too modest to go braless. Even though my breasts hurt like nothing else. I through on a t-shirt and curled up on my bed, just watching my tears hit the pillows. Where did everything go wrong?

I feel like a quill that doesn't have enough ink on it. When you are two lazy to go buy more ink or borrow some from a friend. You always attempt to get more ink out of it but all you get are uneven lines.

Life is hard.

I eventually fell asleep, again.

* * *

When I woke up this time it was about midnight. I hadn't really eaten anything besides an apple today so I found myself incredibly hungry. I gently rolled out of bed, grabbed my wand and went back down to the kitchens.

The halls were quiet tonight, but then again it was after midnight. I reached the fruit painting and then tickled the pear.

A House elf immediately came up to me and asked what I would like.

"Pudding," was all I said. I sat down looking at my hands. I am sad, really sad.

The house elf smiled as she brought me pudding. "Thank you," I offered up my pathetic smile.

I looked at the pudding sitting on the table. I felt like crying again. I picked up the spoon and played with it staring at the pudding.

"Are you going to eat that or just look at it?" I jumped and turned around in my seat. James.

"I am trying to move the spoon with my mind," I say. "I am too lazy to feed myself."

"Maybe I can help you there." I saw his mischievous smile grow on his face again. He took a seat across from me and grabbed the spoon. James scooped the largest amount of pudding you could possibly fit on the spoon and looked me in the eyes and said "Open."

"Ha ha are you joking me?" I said laughing. "You are-" and then he stuck the spoonful of pudding in my mouth and then pulled it out again. I swallowed and then liked all the pudding that had not fit in my mouth, off of my lips.

"James!" I said laughing once again. "I think I can handle it from here." I grabbed the spoon so he wouldn't try it again. A house elf came up and asked him if he would like anything and he just requested a spoon.

"So, I heard you and Jacoby broke up." He said attempting to be nonchalant. But I saw through this, he hates Jacoby.

"Yeah, I dumped his pathetic ass."

He grinned when I said this. "So why did you dump him anyways? Was he not up to your standards?" James said wiggling his eyes up and down.

Why yes James, he was completely unsatisfactory. You should make up for his inadequacy and pleasure me. "He was lame." I said. I grabbed my sleeves to hide the bruises on my arms. I could hide marks on my face by charms easily enough. But arms are hard to point at correctly with your wand.

"That's quite specific."

"He just isn't what I am looking for," I shouldn't have said that.

"Oh really Lily? And what exactly are you looking for?" James had another bite of pudding.

You. Of course I didn't say this. Not only would this be stupid but it would also be amazingly cheesy and cliché. I am not a cliché person. "I don't know what I am looking for." I lied.

"You'll find the right person," James reassured me. His eyes were sad.

"Yeah… I hope so…" I looked down at the table. The grain of the wood they used for it is very uneven. There are knots everywhere.

We were reduced to silence until I could think of something to cover up the quiet.

"By the way I sort of saw you and Roslyn going at it like rabbits in the common room." Stupid! It's all I can think of though! Her lips on his make me want to throw up.

"Oh." He was put out of place by this announcement.

"Yeah." I'm stupid.

"I kind of wanted to make you jealous." He said slowly pronouncing each word, as he slowly turned red. I'm smart, gold star for me.

"Really?" I said smirking.

"Yeah," he replied. I giggled. "Are you laughing at me?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"We say that a lot."

"Yeah we do." We laughed lightly again. It was nice. In times filled with darkness, sadness, and chaos that we are just able to laugh at a dumb joke. James ate more pudding. He seemed to have missed his mouth as well because he had a glob of pudding on his upper lip.

"James you have pudding on your lip." I giggled more.

"So I do." He crossed his eyes attempting to look at it. "Do you want to get that for me?

"Yes." I kissed him and tasted pudding. Screw one star I get 5 stars. And James gets 47 gold stars because his kissing is expertise.

It was a rather chaste kiss. Only one before I sat down again, but afterwards, we were both smiling like the idiots we were.

"I'm sorry we have fought a lot lately." He says to me.

"I am too, I shouldn't have been stupid."

"And I shouldn't have been an ass." He replied.

"Yeah, jeez James, you should work on that." I teased him.

His face read of shock. "Lily I am hurt that you would think that."

I smiled back at him, "It's not my fault you are a bullying toe rag." I mocked.

"Oh so you are back on that now, huh? Evans."

I let out a puff of offense. "Maybe we are Potter." But I couldn't keep a straight face and started to laugh.

"You suck at this game." James points out to me. Like I didn't know already. I stick out my tongue at him.

"Look who is the five-year-old now." I make another face at him. "You are very silly," he says to me. I yawn and stretch my arms out.

"We should go back to the common room." I said, "It's getting kind of late."

"Okay." He said getting up, he reached for my hand and I rook his in mine as he helped me out of my seat.

"Lily I love being friends with you." He said smiling.

Why don't you just play quidditch with my heart James? I want to be more than just friends with you! I don't love being friends with you. I love you.

"Yeah," I smiled back, regardless of my feelings. " I love being friends with you too James," You stupid idiot boy.

He just ruined everything.

* * *

It's Saturday… well when I was with James last night it was Saturday as well but now it is Saturday morning… if you count 11 O'clock the morning, but hey I was up late, I deserved to sleep in. But anyways, it is incredibly good that we don't have classes today because I really don't want to do anything that requires much activity today.

James is a complete and utter moron. He could get a Darwin Award for this! I kissed him and he calls me a friend? I don't want him to love being friends with me! I want him to love ME! I kissed him! How could he not know that I like him?

Idiot boy.

I hate the world. Either a boy is an abusive jerk or he is a sweet, hot, idiot!

Why doesn't he realize this! For the love of God I frickin' dot my i's with hears because I can't get him off my mind. Stupid boys. Stupid hearts.

I mean does he not like me? He called me "appealing!" (he he, this still makes me giggle.) He kissed me… Well no he didn't, but I sure as hell kissed him but her told me to!

Merlin it would be easier to be a lesbian! Girls would always know what you are thinking and they would always go shoe shopping with you!

Man, I wonder what James would say if I told him that he was the reason I turned lesbian (which I am not, just to clear that up, NOT a lesbian).

He is a moron. I hate him.

* * *

"Lily, would you please pass the pumpkin juice?" Yeah here's your pumpkin juice are you going kiss me again? I hate you.

"Yeah, sure James." I smile and pass him his juice. I mean he is acting like it didn't even happen!

"Hey baby." Ugh it's her I hate her.

"Oh hey Roslyn." I keep my head down but I can't help but see his eyes flicker towards me. And he called her Roslyn. Not Rose or Rosie, that progress.

"Jamie we never spend time together anymore. We should go for a walk." Oh please you have been spending plenty of time together. Remember you were in the head common room with him going at it like rabbits.

"Well I have head duties tonight. Lily and I have to patrol." He looked at me and Roslyn followed his gaze to me as well.

"I'm sure Lily won't mind you being a couple of minutes late, besides your duties aren't until 10 right?" She asked. James nodded.

"Well it's 8:00 now and that means we have two hours," Her voice got lower, "To do whatever we want," Roslyn's fingers danced by his collar. I wanted to take the fork in my hand and stick it in her eye.

"Well let me just finish eating." James said silently. He finished eating very quietly as I just moved my food about my plate once more.

"Bye guys." He nodded towards us, as he went off with Roslyn to do God knows what.

"Merlin I hate that girl." Sirius spoke up. Ah, Sirius you are not alone. I knew James and Remus kept you around for some reason; you know besides the whole anmagi I am totally awesome for helping out Remus thing.

"Why what did you she?" Marlene asked.

"She spends _so _much time with James! I mean the other night I went to go hang out with him to find his room empty. I waited for him to get back and when he did, I asked were we was and he told me he was "With her" And we all know who her is." Whoops! That was me! But I have no regrets. I got to kiss James. Sorry Sirius!

"And she is so annoyingly perfect. I mean I have never even seen her nail polished chipped."

"I thought guys liked girls who are pretty, smart, poised, nice and great I bed." Ava said.

"Well those things are nice but we like flaws as well. I mean Roslyn barely ever gets angry. Personally I love it when girls get mad, they get all hot and bothered. And I thought James like it too! I mean he used to piss Lily off in the good old days just to see her get mad." I blushed furiously.

"He did?" I ask.

"Yeah, why else would he make you mad when he was in love with you? Why can't James go back to liking you?" He asked me. As if I knew. Seriously I wish he still liked me.

"Do you all dislike Roslyn?" Ava asked the boys.

"Yes!" The exclaimed.

"I was once talking to James in the library and all the sudden she comes up to us and starts kissing him." Remus recounted for us.

"She says she never sees him, _we_ never see him." Sirius was pissed. "I liked it so much better when he liked you Lily. I mean yeah he talked about you 24/7," I blushed again. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. "But at least we got to see him."

"Aw Lily, your blushing!" Marlene might as well have shouted this to the whole world.

"Ehh… Sirius?" I asked.

"Yes?" I closed my eyes and just decided to tell it like it was.

"James wasn't hanging out with Roslyn last night. He was hanging out with me in the kitchens. When he said 'her' it was me." I explained to them all. Marlene and Ava are going to kill me for not telling them earlier

I opened my eyes and was greeted with five pairs of wide eyes and mouths hanging open.

"You're joking." Sirius said.

"No, I'm totally serious."

"Well no, _I'm _Sirius but are you for real?" Sirius is lame.

"Yeah."

"Well, wow."

"Has James been telling you anything that has been going on?" I questioned them. I mean they seemed so clueless.

"Something has been going on?" Sirius was so out of the loop it seemed everyone just had bits and pieces of everything. No one had the full story.

"Well James and I have gotten in to a lot of fights recently but it's okay we've made up."

"We're the fights about Jeremy?" Ava asked.

"Yes, they were, kind of. There is more to it then just him but that's the gist of it."

My eyes look towards Remus begging him no to tell my secret. I self-consciously pulled my sleeves down again.

"So what exactly has been going on besides the fighting?" Marley asked.

"Nothing really. We he saw me and Jeremy snogging, we fought, made up and ate pudding, he saw me snogging Jeremy." Which wasn't totally true I was being snogged against my will. " We fought, I saw him and Roslyn get a little more than friendly in the common room, we made up, ate pudding and kissed and that's pretty much it."

"You kissed him and you didn't tell us!" Marlene shouted.

"Well yeah. Well you see we were joking with pudding and I wanted some but he wouldn't let me, because I called him a five-year-old. And I had to kiss him if I wanted pudding and he put pudding on his lips but then Remus and Sirius came in and I left. But then we were in the kitchens again last night and we had no interruptions. So I kissed him when he got pudding on his lips because he wanted me to get it for him," I said in one breath gasping for air afterwards.

"Oh my damn. He still likes you." Sirius said.

"No he doesn't. He said he loved being my friend. So he loves me, but only as a friend." Marlene and Ava totally understand this, being girls. But the Marauders, who are in fact boys, found this concept hard to grasp. Again why it would be easier to be a lesbian.

"I still think he likes you." Remus said. "At least I want him to, I can't stand Roslyn."

I smiled. If James didn't love me at least his friends liked me more than Roslyn.

"Lily, do you like James?" Sirius asked me quite out of the blue. His face was plastered with a smirk as if he already knew the answer. I was paralyzed.

"I-I" I couldn't even form sentences. I looked around and saw the amused smile on Sirius' face and the warming smile of Remus' AS I turned I saw Marlene and Ava with their mouths a gape and eyes wide. "I guess, I do." The words sent everyone up in rejoice.

"Finally!" Sirius quiet down!" I looked around in hope that everyone in the great hall just ignores us.

"Lily! Why didn't you tell us?" Marlene is shocked.

"Well, I, I don't know. I just decided to keep it a secret cause you know James has a girlfriend now and it seems like I am just an idiot for not liking him sooner."

"You _are_ an idiot for not liking him sooner." Ava tells me.

"May I ask, if you like, and have liked James, for at least a month now, then what was that whole fiasco with Jeremy about?" Sirius interrogated me. But did he have to bring up Jeremy again. For what seemed like the tenth time that night I tugged on my sleeves so no one could see the bruises.

"That was an idiotic attempt to make James jealous and actually do something with my life." I was basically an idiot for the like week we went out.

"Well it worked, James wouldn't shut-up about what a jack-ass Jacoby was." Sirius said.

I smiled sadly. "But James is with Roslyn now."

"Not for long. Does her know you like him?" I should hope so I mean I kissed him.

"He should, but he's a boy. Boys are oblivious." I told them. Ava and Marlene nodded their heads in agreement as Remus and Sirius shouted in protest "We are not!"

"I kissed James and he may or may not think I like him. If someone kissed me I am pretty sure I would think they liked me." I explained.

"Well whatever, he will like you, or at least realize you like him and then remember his feelings for you soon." Sirius told me with a genuine smile.

"Man, if Prongs could see this. The girl who he loved for years who hated him, is now in love with him when he gives up." Sirius laughed despite the situation.

"It's not funny Sirius!" I said. I mean if I could have realized this at the least one year ago, we might have been together.

"Yes it is!" Marlene joined in with his laughter. Everyone soon started laughing. I wanted to punch their faces in.

WE continued to laugh and eat until about 9:30 and the house elves wanted to clean up and were getting antsy. This is when James appeared.

"You guys are still here?" He asked us.

"Yup!" Sirius said and then gave me a suggestive smile and flicked his eyes from me to James.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who saw this either because suddenly the table was in another fit of laughter.

"I hate you guys." I said. James just stood there in his confusion.

"Um… What's so funny?" James asked.

"Come on, let's go to patrol." I tugged on his arm in the to leave.

"Bye guys!" Ava waved as the others joined in. I was going to kill them.

* * *

A/N: I am a goddess. I can't believe I wrote that much. This chapter has been through a lot just FYI. I mean at one point I had James finding out about Jeremy hurting Lily and things have been switched around so much.

But yeah by the time I post this it will probably 4 O'clock in the morning. Seriously the things I do for you guys. Anyways I am sorry I haven't updated in a while. My neighbor's 16th birthday was at the beginning of the month, (I love you Stella) and I swear to god everyone turned 16 this month. So far I have been to 5 parties and I am throwing another one for a friend in December… But you don't really care about that… sorry I tend to talk a lot when I am up really late.

O by the way this is 15 pages long… including the Authors note… but still, that's a lot compared to what you are used to. You guys should send me cookies or something.

I like reviews almost as much as this boy in my biology class. Please at least say if you like it or not.


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